The Panda on the Side of the Milk Carton

[Lethen]

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"Are your eyes...open?"
The Lethen in the Long Trenchcoat
Shadowy Guy at the ENN

[flash=250,210]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFuGfwIhv14[/flash]

*A host emerges from the shadows, wearing a light brown trench coat while smoking a cigarette. The alley is dank and dark, with steam rolling left to right. In his trademark gravely voice and with a cadence full of pauses...and...more pauses...our host begins*

Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to tonight's edition of E-Nigma. I am, as usual, your host of this ENN Special Report on mysteries, secrets, and shadowy deals in our region that may forever remain unsolved.

Tonight we shall seek to uncover the mystery of our missing panda. Where has he gone? Why is he quiet? What has happened to him?

It began on April 30th, when our President returned from a Leave of Absence and spoke of these "RL plans" and promised to "President the heck" out of the region." Who was RL? What does RL stand for? What would they gain by taking Calvin away?

"It isn't natural, ya know?" Said local mechanic and salt-of-the-earth character when asked. "Why would a guy promise to President the heck out of us, and then disappear?"

The mystery deepens, however. Calvin ran on a platform that included things like increased transparency; maybe he was making things transparent that should have stayed...opaque. Who were his enemies? Who wouldn't want our "eyes open?"

"What about the EIA?" Suggested Generic Intern #1 in our production meeting this week. Exactly, why not the EIA? Isn't it awfully convenient that Calvin seems to disappear yet finds the time to sign a statement released by the very agency in question?

And what a good time to make this believable...right around his disappearance, The Lens released poll results that shed awfully bad lighting onto Calvin and his Ministers. Lighting so awful it'd make a man seeking transparency dive into the shadowy world of the opaque.

"We decided to delve deeper into this, and it appears that Calvin has not posted in the Euro Server on Discord since May 9th at 8:03 pm. Not just that," continued Smart Intern #1, "But Calvin has only posted 20 times this month. And of those posts, 13 were EBC Wire updates. Honestly I'm more surprised that the President hasn't weighed in on the Trinnien debacle, with his name being thrown around so much, and --"

Enough, Smart Intern #1! Who could have a vested interest in making Calvin disappear last Tuesday? Where would he be? Who took him?

This mystery shall remain..unsolved.

"No, Calvin is just being noticeably inactive, and there's no signs that anyone --" Smart Intern #1 has been ushered out of the room at this point.

Unsolved it shall remain. Another episode of E-Nigma in the books.

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[Rach]

I wish more light would shine on my Ministry. We had the most updates, a ton of IFVs and people still forgot I was a Minister or didn't know what was happening. So I'd welcome less apathy and would gladly trade that apathy with anyone who would prefer it.

People can read our Midterm here and check out our smexy new template. Also, joining our teams to write proposals. So if you're someone who wants someone to commend or condemn.... people should join a team or give suggestions!

 

[Lime]

I wonder what he's getting at? :emb:

 

[Lethen]

Well there's a good idea for our next E-Nigma article! Except you spoiled it Not a mystery anymore.

 

[Kylia Quilor]

I didn't realize the numbers shook out that bad, honestly.